It isn't really typical of me to rant about stuff concerning me on the internet. However I am fed up with everything and today's episode was the last bit to get me really furious.
Well, as I write an exam in biology today I wanted to get up earlier than usually so I can read through the script a last time to be reaaaaally prepared.
I took a shower, read through the texts, ate my breakfast and so on...
I've finished everything approximatley half an hour before I had to leave for the bus.
The last thing I had to do was to brush my teeth and get dressed - and that's when time miraculously started to run very fast.
I missed the bus and the next one will arrive at 12:22...
Due to my injury I couldn't/cannot
A) run to the bus so I can catch up
B) get the bike from the cellar, not to mention ride it at all
C) walk three a half kilometers to my school.
And here we are: me, lying in my bed, being in rage about this fucking prank of fate mixed up with my inability to estimate time, sitting in front the of the fucking computer.
Ironically, one week ago, I was ten minutes early before the SAME bus at the SAME time should've arrived but for some reason there was a delay of fifteen minutes and I arrived too late to class. Why couldn't it happen this time?!
For whoever's almighty sake... I'm fed up with everything.
Some part of my mind says I mustn't write everything down and publish it eventually on the internet but you know what? I don't give a damn fuck at this moment as every little damn thing pisses me off and I give a fuck what the consequences may be at the monet though I may regret everything afterwards.
I know... every one has issues with school be it being bad at a subject, having tons of work, getting bullied by someone.
And I know everyone has also problems with people such as family, friends, classmates, collegues at work or I don't know.
But gosh... I just cannot take it anymore having almost every goddamn example I've previously given as a personal fucking problem!!
Scratch the bully thing, the classmates and the collegues, add a motherfucking cold, an injury which seems to get less better than expected, the heavy tendencies for depressions and HERE WE GO!!!! You have a choleric human being who is at the edge of getting either totally crazy or comitting suicide - and I think, I do not overreact.
I am glad to have my friends and my family and I know that most of them care for me... but it feels like everything goes currently straight to hell.... and I don't mean the hell where LeFloid rules the place and where I voluntarily like to get to after death. I'm speaking of hell with everything that I fear - lonliness, pain and simply living without the wish to live on but you cannot put this miserable life to an end.
If you endured this rant until now then congratulations and thanks for reading this shit.
I go to the fucking bus stop several minutes before the forseen arrival.
Have a nice start in the week and for fuck's sake - don't get to late to the bus.